Hello 30
by Lily
I think turning 30 warrants a blog post. To say that time flies would be an understatement, but wow, what a 30 years it’s been! I wouldn’t trade anything to go back again, despite the quickening onslaught of the aging process. The experiences I’ve had have been full of joy, pain, love, confusion, and laughter. Here are the lessons I’ve learned (and keep relearning), complete with music.
1) Live with conflict
Life really is a sum of contradictions. You can drive yourself crazy if you think that situations can be reduced to if A, then B, and if not B, then not A. I think there is immense peace in accepting that some things are inexplicable and that paradoxes exist all around you and within you. Walking away from something you want is the greatest paradox I struggle with. I think this conflict is wondrously represented in the movie, Where the Wild Things Are. All our emotions are these wild monsters with wants running in every direction.
Miike Snow – Animal
2) Live with no conflict
See what I did there? Oh, the conflict. When I was younger, I used to think drama was a reflection of depth. You quickly learn that’s not the case through experience. There will be enough drama in life without seeking it out. To be at peace with peace is a gift.
Bloc Party – Ion Square
3) Say thanks when you’re grateful
There will never be a situation where there’s not enough time to say thanks. That’s all.
The XX – VCR
4) Fear is overrated
Fear is a terrible and wonderful thing. I know it protects us from making bad decisions, but it also paralyzes us from taking action. Overcoming fear and the anticipation of pain, and just accepting the outcome has always ended up better for me, and yet, I still let it slow me down. This lesson is definitely one I keep forcing myself to learn.
The National – Slow Show
5) Happiness is underrated
It is so much easier to be happy than sad. How did I not learn this for so long? Life is infinitely better when you’re focusing on the amazing stuff that’s happening all the time. My philosophy now is that if I can find something that makes me laugh every day, then incrementally, I’m doing really well in life.
The Boy Least Likely To – I’m Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Cart
6) Forgive yourself
We’re all human, and making ourselves feel worse for the sake of punishment seems valueless. You learn from the things you do that make you feel bad, and then you move on and try not to make the same mistakes again.
Broken Social Scene – All to All
7) There is no single truth
Not to get too philosophical, but I think it’s rare to find a single truth in any situation. The best explanation I’ve found supporting this theory is this amazing TED talk about the riddle of experience vs. memory. Even when we are alone in our experience, we may think we know exactly what is happening, and our state in relation to it, but I think that constantly changes over time. For example, let’s take the first time you fall in love. It’s amazing, mind-blowing, heart-wrenching. What if it ends badly with your partner cheating on you? Do you still think about that relationship as a positive experience? For me, ideally, I would like to give my memories the freedom to remain exactly how they were experienced. There doesn’t seem to be any value in taking away from what you’ve already gone through, and yet I think that’s perhaps an impossible goal. Hence, the conflict of multiple truths.
Stars – Your Ex-Lover is Dead
8 ) You get one life
Yes, it’s a cliche, but life really is too short. Don’t put things off, you only get one life to play, contrary to what video games teach us.
Mos Def f. DJ Honda – Travelin’ Man
9) Let your friends be there for you
I’m learning this one, slowly. I compartmentalize well, and I often do it unknowingly. I have to keep reminding myself there’s great joy and spontaneity in connecting on a deeper level, even if it means exposing your weaknesses.
Handsome Boy Modeling School – If It Wasn’t For You
10) Be kind
Like happiness, it is so much easier to be kind than mean. And it makes you feel so much better.
Black Eyed Peas – I Got A Feeling (Barletta edit)
So there you go, hello 30. Onward and upward!
